You don’t know me from Eve, and surely there are countless “self-help” books out there claiming to have the answers to all of life’s problems. So why should this be any different?

Well, to some it won’t be. They’ll skim through the pages or quite possibly read it all the way through and either pass it along, sit it on a shelf, or, better yet, trash it. But to others, it will finally be the one they’ve been looking for, the one that says to them the impossible IS possible, that there IS a God, and He loves ME! My being here is not by accident or by a mistake made in the heat of the moment. I am actually part of His Divine plan, and that plan involves a life worth living.

Having spent most of my life in a state of emptiness, confusion, and ultimately becoming numb to the core, I never thought the statements above would ever be a reality for me. Oh sure, I knew people it could apply to—but me? NO! I never saw myself as good enough for that kind of a life. And God? God was Someone who was busy taking care of more important things. I was sure He couldn’t be bothered with little ol’ me while there were wars in third-world countries and starving people in the streets. Yet, it was in my darkest hour—Sunday, July 11, 1999, when I sat in my car, my Bible in hand. I had taken all that I could—the end of my rope. I was saying my last goodbyes to God. Telling Him that I knew my family would understand why I did this. After all, they knew I had spent years dealing with an eating disorder, depression, and a past that was heavier than any person should bear.

With tears rolling down my face, I was ready. Ready to drive my car over the embankment, straight down. I purposely didn’t put my seat belt on. I had hoped I would be ripped to pieces as I flew through the windshield and smacked the ground. I knew then, and only then, when they found me, they would finally see what the inside looked like. It was in that moment, He spoke to me. I heard Him, so clearly, so softly, so lovingly. He whispered, “Yeah, but Morgan won’t understand why her Meme left her.” I could feel the warmth of His breath come over me like a cleansing rain. “What?” I said in a slight whisper, as the thoughts in my head gave life to my words. “Who will teach her about You? Who will worship with her?”

My heart was so moved by those simple words. For the first time in a very long time, I felt life. It was also the first time I had ever heard His audible voice. He knew me! He knew the deepest part of my heart. He knew exactly what it would take to breathe life into my lifeless soul. This God, who I once thought was so busy fighting wars in third-world countries and feeding the hungry in the inner city streets, knew ME! Not only did He know of me, He knew intimate details of my heart. Who is this God? And why me?

I pray the answers to these questions will be revealed to you as you read through the pages of my journey. Most of all, I pray that this book will give hope to the hopeless. Even though life may take us down some rocky roads, as long as those roads lead us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with an all-loving God, then those will be the roads worth going more than a mile for.

Nikki M. Barrett, LLC

Nikki M. Barrett, LLC

Nikki M. Barrett, LLC

Navigating Life with Human Design